Biting Your Tongue

Have you ever had a moment when you really wanted to say something but all you could do was bite your tongue? It can be very uncomfortable and yet you know that is all you can do. It also hurts a lot especially when it involves a close friend.

Who knew that when my roommate started dating a guy and got engaged my life would change so much. In a matter of a week I went from being her closest friend to being the person that paid the other half of the bills. There are so many things I want to tell her like how she has hurt me and alienated all of her friends, but I know that right now my role is to hold my tongue. Some of the hurt comes simply from me being jealous. I don't want to be but when yet another person, younger than myself, has found what I have been longing for it's hard not to be.

But I think the toughest part of all is sitting back and watching her make choices that aren't so wise. This must be how a parent feels when they let their child make choices. Some choices are good and some are bad, yet we have to make them in order to learn.

It blows my mind to know that God feels the same way about me. He is watching me make choices in my life. He knows what the outcome will be and yet he still gives us free will. I know how it breaks my heart to see my friend make these choices, how much more do I break God's heart when I knowingly choose to sin?

It is overwhelming to think about how much he loves us. I love my friend dearly and I would do anything for her even though she has hurt me. Love means forgiving. And God loves me even more. He loved me so much to allow Jesus to die and take on the sins of the world just so I could be with him. Talk about your storybook romance! I don't know any man in the world who would be willing to do that for me. I am perused and loved everyday of my life. I am caught up in the greatest romance ever. And the bible is my long love letter from my Savior

"For your maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is His name - the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer, He is called the God of all the earth."
Isaiah 54:5