Patience in Practice

Being a single person is hard. Navigating the world of friendships, dating, and living a Christ centered life can get all jumbled up. It is especially difficult when well meaning friends don't fully understand everything you are struggling with. So many people make you feel like you have to be completely happy with being single and have no desire to want to be married before God will bring someone into your life. That being content means to be completely satisfied with being single and to not have any struggles or pain from the fact that you are single. That if you are completely content then you wouldn't feel lonely or your heart wouldn't feel a slight tinge of pain when he hear of someone else getting married or having a baby.

Well today I read two amazing articles on crosswalk.com. They were actually two parts of the same article but it was about being content but not being satisfied. I would suggest any single person or anyone who knows a single person read these articles.

Content But Not Satisfied Part 1
Content But Not Satisfied Part 2

I really related to the part where he talks about how it would be much easier to not hope for a mate at all. Keeping hope alive is what helps us be content but it is also the part that can get impatient and want it right now. Being content but not satisfied is truly patience in practice.

Are You Serious?

After the experiences I have had in the last two years I have determined that dating when you are in your later 20's is very different from your early 20's. My friend Keema were discussing how we should write a book about all the different men that have come in and out of or lives and title it "Are You Serious?" I must admit I think she has me beat in the weirdo department when one guy called her out of the blue after a few months and said he was coming back to town and wanted to see her. She refused and good thing because she later found out he was just coming back to town because he had been in prison for the last 6 months and that is why he hadn't called her. I have not had a man recently released from prison, but I have had my handful of doozies as well. From the I never want to be married again guy, to the no I've never been married but a week later I have to go to court to finalize my divorce, to the oh by the way I am divorced and have a kid guy, to the super sweet guy who adores you but your just too different, to the guy you are nuts about but dumps you for another girl and then decides he made a huge mistake after the new girl dumps him and wants you back, to the I went out with you once and don't have the decency to say I am not attracted to you so I will just never speak to you again guy, and the latest I have some huge issues I am dealing with and I don't know if this can ever go anywhere guy.

Honestly I am quite amazed at those of you who have actually been able to get married and have a happy marriage. I don't see how you did it. I really don't see how these people who married the first person, or close to the first person they ever dated managed! I'm not giving up hope that there are still decent, God fearing, wonderful men out there. I just hope I don't go insane before I meet him!

Annie Get Your Gun!

Last night I drove up to Joplin to see Geoff perform in Annie Get Your Gun. I didn't realize how funny the show is, I had never seen this version before. I was laughing so hard, though the funniest part was the cowboy trio. The guys were really funny but I was just cracking up at the fact that Geoff is just not meant to be a cowboy, but he was still cute up there and did a great job!

I sat through the first act in the second row. At intermission someone tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was named Kelly. It was Geoff's sister. So I went and sat with his entire family through the second act. After the show we went to Sonic and got some food. I really enjoyed hanging out with his family. It is not very often that you meet everyone at the same time but they were so welcoming and his two nieces were adorable. I had a great time laughing with them and can't wait to meet them again. They reminded me alot of my own family, go figure Geoff and I discover more and more each day random things we have in common. Though one thing that surprised me was how much Geoff looks like his mom! There is no way that she could ever deny that he was her child. :)

Talking in the Rain!

I don't know what it is but there are just times that I love the rain. I love to just stand there and let it pour all over me, soak through my hair, and drench my clothes. Unfortunately as I have gotten older the times I fully enjoy the rain have become few and far between. Most of the time I am busy trying to rush back and forth hurrying to get where I think I need to be and trying to still look presentable as I do so. But last night I just stood there! Of course earlier in the day I had busted out the umbrella and ran for cover when I met Geoff for dinner, but I decided to abandon it in the car as we went to the movie and I was glad I did. After the movie he walked me back to my car and we were just talking and it started sprinkling, but we just kept talking. Then it started pouring and we just kept talking. It was quite funny to see the people running to their cars and giving us strange sideways glances as we stood there, talked, and got soaking wet. It was nice to stand there with someone and not care that I was beginning to look like a drowned rat. Plus there is something kinda romantic about standing in the rain. Really it was a perfect evening and one that I will remember for a long time. :)

Always a Bridesmaid!

Yesterday was 08/08/08! A few years ago I had decided that it would be really fun if I could get married on 08/08/08 because I have a ton of 8's that have randomly popped up in dates through out my entire life including my birthday. Well since I don't even have a boyfriend currently I obviously wasn't going to be getting married. So instead I decided to hold a party.

I invited several of my good girl friends and we all dressed up in old bridesmaid dresses. It was just fun to have an excuse to dress up! Then I had punch and another friend of mine even baked us a small "wedding" cake. The funny part was that he even took a cheap cake topper and cut the groom off of it! Then we played some really cheesy games that I had come up with. First I had them split into teams and gave them each a brides magazine, poster board, scissors, and a glue stick. Then they had 20 minutes to plan my wedding. It was quite funny to see what the three groups came up with. It went from getting married in Vegas and riding a camel, to getting married in an alternate universe and skinny dipping when a strange man pops out of the water, and then there was the group that got so detailed they even picked out my china pattern! We were laughing so hard it was quite entertaining. Another game we played was the the "Worst Wedding Gift Exchange." Basically it was a white elephant keeping in mind that the theme was wedding gifts. There were several very creative items though I think that funniest was the sympathy card someone stuck in with their gift! The the last thing we did was have everyone write down one word to describe what they thought my ideal man should be. That was quite funny but the gist of it ended up being that he needed to be extremely handsome, musical, meek, and my favorite, fertile!! We had such a great time, I think I am going to have to come up with more excuses to dress up in the future!

My sister, me, and my sister-in-law
The beautiful cake my friend made.
I toasted myself in the mirror and I think this picture turned out really well!
The group that decided I was getting married in an alternate universe and apparently I am wanted by many men in the universe :)
The group that got extremely detailed, all the way down to my china pattern! Though I like the idea of going to Greece for my honeymoon!
The Vegas group, which included my mom and sister-in-law which is kinda scary. Apparently I wore a red dress, the bridesmaids wore peach, and the groomsmen were aliens in pink vests! They said it was because I had to hurry up and throw everything together that I had to go with what ever they could find. Though there was a luau for the reception and apparently I wore a red bikini and then rode off on a camel!

True Freedom!

It such an amazing feeling when God sets you free from something. Today I went with my friend Kimberly to Jeremy's place and got my chairs. I prayed before I went that he wouldn't be there and he wasn't. After I got the chairs it just felt as though a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders. I came home deleted him from my cell and from my e-mail, so basically deleted him out of my life. God has given me a fresh start and it feels so amazing!
From the advise of my pastor I have asked one of my close friends to be my accountability partner and to be there to ask me those hard questions when it comes to me and being in a relationship. To be totally open and honest with me about everything even if I don't want to hear it at the time.
I have also decided that I really don't want to be in a relationship for a while. I just need to focus on what God has for me and if he brings someone into my life then great but if not then that's great too. I am learning that my hope, peace, and joy all come from the Lord and is not based in someone else. That only He can truly fulfill the deepest desires of my heart and He is the only one who can love me and never fail me.
It feels good to be free!

Perfect Timing!

I am always amazed at how God's timing is absolutely perfect! Though this last week I have been going through one of the most trying times of my life God has shown up for sure. When I called to Him, I discovered He has been there the whole time.

Wednesday my parents were headed to Eureka Springs to use their anniversary gift that we gave them back in November. On the way they stopped by to drop of my bicycle that I am getting from my brother, and they invited me to come visit them on Thursday so I wouldn't be alone. We had a great time on Thursday exploring all over Eureka. We went geocaching, rode the train, and then saw the passion play. It was great to be with them and to know I have their love and support always.

Friday I left for then New Frontier's Midwest Conference. God just really opened my eyes this weekend and poured His love out on me. Last night during worship we were dancing and shouting praise and I felt like myself again. I felt totally complete and completely satisfied. This morning God really made me realize that worrying about when or who I am going to marry is silly. He told me to look around and see all these married couples and families. He said that he creates marriages every single day. It isn't something unusual or difficult for Him, it is something he does everyday, many times a day. Why would I ever think that He isn't big enough to do the same for me? I was humbled by that thought and it gave me great hope. God knows what he is doing and it always works so much better when I let Him drive in the first place.

It's still hard, it takes some getting used to not talking to someone after you have talked to them every day for 9 months. But I know this is all God, and I have hope that this is not the end and the best is yet to come!

Stupid Anger

You know being angry will drive you to do some really stupid things. Today I did just that. After talking with Jeremy last night I was so focused on it and upset all day that I ended up doing something that everyone wants to do but really shouldn't. I e-mailed his new girlfriend and told her exactly what he did to me and made sure to point out the fact that he was to chicken to tell me that he was dating her. On top of that I sent him a copy of the e-mail as well. At the moment it felt great to write all of those things and push the send button knowing I was going to hurt him just as badly as he hurt me. And now, just a few hours later, I regret it. I shouldn't have done that. I have every right to be upset with him but as a believer I should respond in love and not anger. I guess I got want I wanted, to end my friendship with him for good. But now on top of the heartache, I feel sad that I acted so immaturely. I still have alot of growing up to do I guess.

Not My Week!!!

This has not been my week. I guess the good news is that the only place to go from here is up! It all started last Friday with my poison ivy getting worse and worse. So I finally broke down and went to the doctor, after hunting for an hour to see if my insurance would still cover it since I changed companies this year. I got a wonderful shot that cleared that up but I wasn't real happy.

Then that afternoon when I went to get my key to my apartment and sign the lease. I start getting everything filled out and the lady gets to the part in the lease about pets and tells me that there are no pets allowed. I look at her with this look of total surprise. She says "I didn't tell you about that?" Of course not why would I say something now if you didn't tell me then. So she calls over to the other section of the same apartment complex, where they allow pets, and finds me an apartment over there. So I call the water and electric company to get everything changed, and they mention that the utilities are still in someone elses name, but the manager swears the apartment is empty. I go through all the paper work which has now taken an hour and a half and caused me to miss my end of the year staff party. We get everything squared away and I go to check out the apartment. There is still all of the former tenants stuff there, they haven't moved out at all!!! By this point I am totally stressed and start crying. So I go back to the office and explain and they give me a new apartment, but of course I can't call the electric and water companies again because it is now after hours on a Friday!!

So Saturday I work all day getting my stuff moved, and really that went off without a hitch thanks to the smarts of getting movers to move all the big stuff and my family helping with the rest. Though of course we were sweating to death because at the old house the AC had gone out on Thursday!

Sunday I went with Jeremy to the Crater of Diamonds State Park and dug for diamonds. We had a great time there digging and the weather was actually pretty nice so all in all that was a great day, until I found out what I know today that is. More on that in a minute.

Monday, I ended up spending 3 hours finishing packing my classroom so that all my stuff can be stored for next year. If I never see another box or packing tape again it will be too soon! After school went back to the old house to clean up and gather the last few things. I was soooo hot and then the belt on the vacuum broke. So Jeremy helped me fix that and we hauled stuff back here. In the process I slammed one of my fingers in the car door which still hurts right now.

Then came today! The icing on the cake and the reason Sunday has now ended up being not such a fond memory. I got my Internet connected again today, which has been disconnected since Friday. I went on and was checking all of my e-mails, blogs, and my facebook and myspace pages. Well, I was wondering around and noticed something weird. My friend Jeremy had put that he was in a relationship with some other girl. Now you have to understand that Jeremy and I have been dating off and on for the last 9 months and playing this whole friends game, and right now we were considering ourselves just friends, however it has always been more that just friends. So I ask him about it and he avoids the question until I finally press him. So then he lets me know that yes in fact he is dating someone else. Though he spent the entire weekend with me, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, he didn't ever once mention this. We even spent 8 hours in the car alone on Sunday and joked about people he has dated, and he never says a word. Instead he decided to put it on his Facebook page and wait for me to find out that way. He is a total Jerk! The real kicker is that just 3 weeks ago we had a conversation about why we weren't in a relationship. His exact words were "I feel like I really need to pursue the purpose God has for me, he has been laying it on my heart hear lately. For the last several years I have been pursuing what I want but I need to focus on what God wants. When I am in a relationship I just focus on that and not on anything else so I can't be in a relationship right now." Then I turn around and find out that not a week later he is in a relationship with this other chick!!!! But he waits 2 weeks to tell me! Not only that but he still wants to hang out all the time and not have anything change between us. He swears nothing will change. I don't know what planet he is living on but this changes everything!!!! Then after all this mess he has the gall to tell me he thinks this is God's Will.

Who am I to argue, maybe it is God's will but right now I am totally ticked at the boy, so upset that I can't sleep, and not appreciating that he couldn't be honest with me in the first place.

I know everything is in God's hands. I am so thankful for my friends and family who all love and support me. It was so nice to talk with my daddy tonight and then he prayed with me. I will get over this soon enough. I am just getting so tired of this whole dating game. I just want to get married and have kids, why must so much heartache come along with that desire. I guess in a way I am more mad at myself than anything for letting him back into my heart and trusting him again after how he hurt me last November. Maybe I will learn my lesson, but then again maybe not, I am a trusting person and with that comes heartache on occasion. Though I suppose a moment of heartache is better than a life time of trusting no one.

I was joking with my brother that maybe this will help get me motivated to lose this 30 pounds that I have gained over the last year :) I guess it won't be all bad!

Urealistic!! Really?????

Tonight I was told in no uncertain terms that the fact that I want to wait to have sex until I am married is unrealistic. That because of the choices I have made that I will be single for the rest of my life. That in order to get a husband I have to be willing to "fulfill a man's needs." And apparently this makes me selfish and I don't care about how it makes the other person feel.

Can we say I am a bit ticked off!!! Now, I admit that in this whole matter I am not totally innocent. I have made some choices over the last few months that haven't been the wisest nor am I proud of them. I have seen and admitted where I wronged him and yet all I get is that I don't care about how he feels! Apparently I am totally to blame for the reason we had this huge fight and things he has done to hurt me don't factor in.

It's not like premarital sex is a grey area. It's not like one of those biblical things that you question. I don't know how many times it is mentioned through out the bible but it is very, very clear. I think what ticks me off the most is that he is a believer and yet said these things to me. I would understand if he was a non-believer of course this is the way the world sees things. But as a Christian we are to live in the world and not be of the world. As I said before I am not perfect. I am so far from being perfect that it scares me sometimes. I know my own heart and I know what I would do if I weren't under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I know what I have done when I have chosen to go my own way. I am only who I am today by God's grace and his mercy, and the Lord knows I don't deserve it at all.

Telling me that men of strong character and convictions don't exist makes me mad. It makes me mad because I know it is a lie. I have these exact type of men all around me. I find these qualities in my father and my brothers, and brother-in-law. These men are in church with me every Sunday. These men are married to my close friends. These men are some my good friends. True I may not have met the one that God has intended for me but you know what I have no doubt that he is out there.

So I just want to thank all of you men out there who choose to live a life of integrity. Who choose to stand up for what you believe in the face of adversity. Who value the gift of sex and were willing to wait or are still waiting until you are married. Who value women enough to love them for who they are and not what they can do for you.

Thank you for being my family, my friends, and my mentors. Thank you for showing me that I am a precious treasure worth waiting for. Thank you for seeing value for who I am and not what I can do. Thank you for showing me that I don't have to settle for second best. Thank you for keeping hope alive for this "unrealistic" single girl.

Late Night Musings!

It is 2am and I can't sleep so instead I have been sitting here pondering different things about my life. Most of it pretty incoherent since it is 2am. Though I have had one brilliant idea and I thought I would share.

Seeing as the year 2007 has been such a strange one for me, especially in the dating department, I am coming to grasp that my dream of being married on 08-08-08 is not going to happen. At first this thought was quite disturbing since that also means that I will end up turning 28 and still be single which is something I have dreaded, but then I decided not to fret and have a party anyway!

So on 08-08-08 instead of a Wedding I will be holding my "Always a Bridesmaid Party!" Everyone will have to dress in tacky bridesmaids dresses and we will have a worst wedding gift exchange. I was also thinking that for fun I would even purchase a small wedding cake and have it frosted some awful color like hot pink and lime green. It will be a day of celebration instead of a day of me mopping around feeling sorry for myself.

I am pretty excited about it. To bad it is still 8 months away. And if you have any ideas on what else would make the party incredibly fun just leave me a comment! I would love your suggestions! And don't worry all my girlfriends will be invited! sorry guys, though I suppose you could come if you wanted to dress in an ugly bridesmaids dress as well :)

Unexpected Answers

I am an avid believer in the power of prayer. I have a prayer journal that I write in most every night and pray constantly though out the day. Prayer is my life line.

Over the years I have prayed for many things. Some have been unanswered, some answered with wait, and still others answered immediately. Of course all of the answers come in many different forms. There are times they are answered exactly as I expect, other times they are answered completely opposite of what I have in mind, and still others I don't realize were even answered until way on down the road.Even after so many prayers being answered in my life I still find that many times I am surprised by unexpected answers. One of those unexpected answered occurred last night.

Since I met Jeremy I have known that God is preparing him for something big. I realized early on that God is working in his life in a might way right now. So I have been praying that God would continue to work in his life. That God would draw Jeremy closer to him and let him see the leadership calling that has been placed on his life.

Well God has been answering those prayers. Jeremy and I sat down and had a long conversation last night about what God has been showing him over the last few weeks. In the midst of all that God has been showing him God has also called him to not be in a relationship for now. Which means that as much as Jeremy didn't want too, he broke up with me last night.

Needless to say, this was a very unexpected way for God to answer my prayers. As much as I don't like the decision, I also know that if it is what God wants then it is for the best. I actually have to say that I am very proud of Jeremy, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him if he weren't willing to place God above everything else, including me. The problem is that it makes me like him even more!!

So we have decided to continue to get to know each other as friends and we will wait on the Lord and see where he is going to take us from here. What ever happens I know without a shadow of a doubt that God's hand is in it and it will all work for the good. Above all else I want God to be glorified through my life.

The Kiss of Death??

WARNING: Dating a teacher may be hazardous to your health!

Being a teacher I never really think about the germs going around school. I always make sure I keep my hands clean but don't really worry about catching anything. I have been working with kids for so long that I rarely get sick myself. The last time I was really sick was 4 1/2 years ago when I came down with strep throat.

Needless to say, I was reminded this week of all the germs I am around but not because I got sick. Monday night Jeremy and I saw each other and had a great time. Tuesday night we hung out at Skia and he said that his stomach had been feeling kind of weird all day but he was okay. Then Wednesday he woke up and was really sick. He decided to stay home and rest. Well Thursday he wasn't any better and today he decided to go the doctor. Once he went to the doctor they ended up sending him to the ER. He had a bad case of the stomach flu and had become really dehydrated. So after a couple of hours on an IV they sent him home to wait it out. They said that he could be sick for as long as a week.

We figured that he must have gotten it from me because the stomach bug has been going around school. We have had kids dropping like flies and now poor Jeremy has joined there ranks.

I asked him if dating me was going to be worth it, considering I sent him to the ER in the first week! He said he would do it all over again just to be with me. Isn't he sweet!

Dilemma!!

I have a little situation in which I have never been. I am not quite sure how to handle it at this point. The thing is I am now dating Jeremy, which is amazing. However, I now have 5 other guys who have e-mailed me after speed dating. I don't quite know how to tell them, yes a week ago I was available but now I am not.

I guess really I should tell them just that, but I don't want to be rude. Really I suppose the problem is that I think too highly of myself. Thinking that I am going to crush their poor little hearts by telling them I am not available any more. They may be disappointed but I only met them for a total of 7 minutes. It's not the end of the world, and yet I still don't know what to say!!

Perfect Ending

Tonight was the perfect end to a very long weekend. It was one of those weekends where you couldn't quite enjoy the fact that there was an extra day because you were looking forward to the end. Jeremy was out of town all weekend. Yes, I realize that I haven't even known him a week. However, I missed him like crazy this weekend and was anticipating his return tonight. Though it was good to have my brother, sister-in-law, and niece come over. They helped to keep my mind off of the clock ticking away the time. And geocaching is fun anytime!

This has all been such a whirlwind, almost seems like a story out of a fairy tale somewhere. I was just thinking tonight as we were eating dinner about how I was actually second guessing if I was even going to go speed dating last Monday, and today there I was sitting with an amazing man that I had met there. It is so crazy but I love it!

Tonight was quite funny actually. We were sitting there at Red Robin and I had ordered a Bruchetta Chicken Burger and it had garlic and Parmesan fries with it. When the waitress brought us our meals she asked Jeremy if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He got this panicked look on his face and just stared at me for a moment as if to say "Can I call you that?" So I nodded my head yes and he told her that we were. So I guess that makes it official that we are a couple now. Kind of a strange way to have that "Define the Relationship" conversation. But hey, it works and it makes for a very funny story!

Why is it that when you are waiting for something it happen time seems to move so slowly and yet when it arrives time seems to be put on fast forward?

Unexpected Surprises

I always like unexpected surprises. Those things that seemingly just pop out of the blue and they make your day, or week, or month, or year, and sometimes possibly your lifetime. This has definitely been a week of unexpected surprises for me.

First I was surprised by how much fun I had speed dating.

The second big surprise came on Wednesday evening. I was wanting one certain guy to contact me that I had matched with the night before but was half expecting to not hear from any of them. But at 5:30 I received an e-mail from the one I had hoped to hear from, Jeremy. And about 2 minutes later I got an IM from him. After 5 hours, a sore neck from sitting at the computer, and my cheeks hurting from smiling and laughing so much, we arranged to meet up for lunch today.

Third surprise was not such a good one. Wednesday night I just could not fall asleep. My brain was running 100 mph around and around in circles. I kept thinking about things we had talked about in our conversation that night and anticipating seeing him the next day. Finally I fell asleep at about 5:30. Once I fell I asleep I guess I was sleeping very hard because I slept right though my alarm. I woke up at 8:10 in a panic! I had a class I had to teach at 8:15 and the school was 20 minutes away. However, that lead to my Fourth surprise.

I realized that since I was going to Vandergriff the other music teacher was there. So I called quickly and had her start the lesson for me and I arrived 25 minutes late to class. I told Ede that I owe her dinner after we get paid!

Then came the fifth surprise. Jeremy came and picked me up from school for lunch. All of the my friends at school were all so excited too. One of them even came to my class and made me wear her earrings because they went so well with my outfit.

The sixth one wasn't really a surprise because I knew it was going to happen but it was good anyway. Jeremy drove all the way from his job in Bentonville to take me to lunch and then turn around and go back to work. We had a great time just chatting and I even ran into the director of the Wesley Foundation on campus who I hadn't seen in like 4 years. He didn't recognize me at first, that is always fun! After our lunch at Atlanta Bread Company Jeremy took me back to school. Where I was instructed by my friends that I had to take a picture of him so they could see him.



The last surprise was later this afternoon. Jeremy is going out of town on Friday afternoon to go and visit his family. Since we wouldn't have a chance to see each other for 4 days he wanted to have lunch again. I told him that I only get 30 minutes for lunch on Friday's. So then he suggested that he just bring me lunch. So needless to say now he is driving 30 minutes from Bentonville just to bring me lunch tomorrow.

This has been quite the whirlwind three days. I really don't know where all of this is leading but I am enjoying the ride none the less!

Another Grand Adventure!

Yesterday I was able to mark something to the "First Time For Everything" list. My friend Kathy and I went Speed Dating! It is one of those things you see in movies and wonder if anyone actually does that. Well I have become one those people.

For those of you who have never experienced such an event, here is a brief overview of the evenings events. Kathy and I arrived at the restaurant around 6:40. It had been rented out just for this occasion so there were no other people around. We received a name tag and a clip board with the names of all the males we would meet listed. Under each name was a simple Yes or No. At 7 all the girls were seated at individual tables. Then the guys came in and sat down in an empty chair. Every seven minutes a bell would ring and then the guys would rotate around the group to the next table. After you talked with a guy you would mark on your sheet yes or no. Yes if you wanted to get his contact information and no if you didn't want his contact information. After the evening was over and you had talked to everyone, you turned in your clip board with your yes' and no's. Then the facilitators took all of the cards and matched them up. If both parties said yes then they sent you an e-mail with that persons contact information but if either one of you said no then they didn't give you their information.

During the course of your 7 minute dates you were allowed to ask anything you wanted except for contact information. I had all kinds of questions from the general "What do you do for a living?" to "What is your greatest passion in life?" It was quite interesting to see every ones personalities and exactly what kind of questions they asked. There were all kinds in the midst of our group. It ranged from the socially awkward, to the average Joe, to the player, and everything in between. Who knew there would be such diversity in only 10 guys.

I had so much fun getting to know each one of the guys. I never had a moment when I thought "I wish this would hurry up!" Really 7 minutes isn't a very long time, especially when you are a talker like I am. :)

So I know you are all wondering how many guys I got matched up with. I actually said yes to 6 guys and no to 4. Though I wish I could have changed one of my no's after hanging out with a group of people after the whole shindig. Well amazingly enough out of the 6 I put down as yes all 6 said yes to me as well. Now I haven't had any contact with any of them as of yet. Don't worry Gail I will keep you informed! :)

Really I don't expect anything to come out of this than maybe a few friendships. But if nothing else I had a wonderful evening and I would do it again just to meet new people.

What is UP????

I have yet another thing that boggles my mind. One of the many things I just don't get!

Why is it that I can get asked out by the guy who came to my house to sell me satellite TV, who I know does not hold to the same values I do after talking to him for a while, yet the awesome Christian guys I know seemingly don't even notice me?? I just don't understand!

Talk about frustrating!!!

Single in the Bible Belt

As I was talking with a girl friend of mine I was yet again remind of the fact that being a single person in your later 20's is not an easy thing when you live in the bible belt. One the east or west coast many people are single on in to their 30's. Around here if you aren't married by the time you are 25 you are turning into an old maid.

I don't feel like an old maid. Quite far from it actually and yet it becomes frustrating when most of the men you meet are either married, divorced, or way to young. It doesn't help matters either when you go to church and there is not even one single guy in your age bracket. Or in my case not single guys at all!

As my friend and I were talking we began discussing this phenomenon of the lack of men in their twenties who have the same passion for the heart of Christ as we do. There are even fewer that are passionate about their faith and still single. In actuality when you look at the numbers there are fewer people in their 20's attending church than any other age bracket.

I can't say I blame them. Your 20's are a rather weird time for one. For two the western church isn't a very single friendly place. Everything we do is either centered around family, college, youth, or kids. That leaves us young career people out in our own little island wondering where we fit in. If a church does have a singles group it tends to end up like a social meat market. Now there are some great singles ministries out there but I have yet to be apart of one.

Even during the service there can be moments of frustration. For example one time our pastor was praying for different groups in our church. He prayed for parents, for the youth, for college students, and for single parents. I was left wondering "What about those of us who are just single?" Or illustrations and comments made that stab us right in the heart. My friend actually had someone tell her that she wouldn't really understand what it means to be in an intimate relationship with God until she was married. What??? That is crazy talk!

But even through these difficult moments I find that I couldn't live without my church family. As a single girl I rely on my church family to be there when I need them. People to come and do odd jobs around the house. Someone to think of me and fix me dinner one night. People to remember my birthday. Kids to play with and be a role model too.

Being single in the church is not an easy thing. You have to fight your way through and carve out your own niche. In other words you have to build the bridge from your little island to connect with the main land. But all the hard work and frustration is worth it in the end. We all need to be a part of a community. God created us to fellowship together, to need each other.

Advice From a Kindergartner

Today I was outside with my kindergarten class and one little girl told me all about her birthday gifts she had received this weekend. So of course not to be outdone the next little girl told me her birthday was on the 10th. I told her she was born on my brothers anniversary. Then of course I had to explain that an anniversary is kind of like a birthday only it is the day you got married. The girls then proceeded to ask me what day I got married. When I told them I wasn't married they looked at me with great surprise. With puzzled looks they asked if I had any kids. I said no once again and one little girl piped in with "So you live all alone?" I said I sure do. Then another little girl looked at me with all seriousness and said "You need to find a boy and get married." So I just smiled back and said I am working on it.

If only life were really as simple as it seems through the eyes of a Kindergartner.