NO! I AM NOT ENGAGED! Nor am I getting engaged anytime soon! However, I have witnessed several engagements in my day, not my own. Seeing as I am one of the few singles left amongst my friends I have had an outsiders look on the "engagement/wedding/marriage process." Knowing that 65% of all marriages today now end in divorce, I consider myself very blessed that of all my closest married friends this has not happened to them.
This all being said, I have been thinking over the last few months about the importance of Premarital Counseling. All of my friends have gone through it and said that it is well worth the time and effort. They each learned so much about their future partner and themselves in the process. My brother is a pastor and won't marry a couple unless they go though counseling, which I think is a good policy!
My thought is, why is it we go to counseling only after we get engaged. A ring on the finger doesn't mean a wedding is inevitable, but doesn't it make more sense to find out if you are ready to be married before you are engaged? I have never heard anyone advise a couple on engagement counseling before, and I have never known a couple to go through premarital counseling before they are engaged. Today however I read an article on crosswalk.com that gave that exact advise.
I think it makes perfect sense. Why buy a ring and start planning the wedding just to find out when you get to counseling, that maybe this isn't the best idea. Why not know before hand. Also, I know that once you are engaged, especially for women, our minds get preoccupied by the wedding. Why not eliminate the stress of planning the wedding during the time you are trying to figure out if you are ready for such a commitment?
2 comments:
I know of someone who went through counselling before they were even engaged just to see if they were compatible. They ended up ending the relationship.
As your pastor brother, I have had one couple go through my premarital counseling before engangement and I know of two other couples that didn't get married because of the counseling. Finally, there was one couple that I refused to marry because of serious concerns I had that came out during counseling.
So I agree that a couple should seek out relationship counseling either before the official engagement or shortly after it.
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