Single in the Bible Belt

As I was talking with a girl friend of mine I was yet again remind of the fact that being a single person in your later 20's is not an easy thing when you live in the bible belt. One the east or west coast many people are single on in to their 30's. Around here if you aren't married by the time you are 25 you are turning into an old maid.

I don't feel like an old maid. Quite far from it actually and yet it becomes frustrating when most of the men you meet are either married, divorced, or way to young. It doesn't help matters either when you go to church and there is not even one single guy in your age bracket. Or in my case not single guys at all!

As my friend and I were talking we began discussing this phenomenon of the lack of men in their twenties who have the same passion for the heart of Christ as we do. There are even fewer that are passionate about their faith and still single. In actuality when you look at the numbers there are fewer people in their 20's attending church than any other age bracket.

I can't say I blame them. Your 20's are a rather weird time for one. For two the western church isn't a very single friendly place. Everything we do is either centered around family, college, youth, or kids. That leaves us young career people out in our own little island wondering where we fit in. If a church does have a singles group it tends to end up like a social meat market. Now there are some great singles ministries out there but I have yet to be apart of one.

Even during the service there can be moments of frustration. For example one time our pastor was praying for different groups in our church. He prayed for parents, for the youth, for college students, and for single parents. I was left wondering "What about those of us who are just single?" Or illustrations and comments made that stab us right in the heart. My friend actually had someone tell her that she wouldn't really understand what it means to be in an intimate relationship with God until she was married. What??? That is crazy talk!

But even through these difficult moments I find that I couldn't live without my church family. As a single girl I rely on my church family to be there when I need them. People to come and do odd jobs around the house. Someone to think of me and fix me dinner one night. People to remember my birthday. Kids to play with and be a role model too.

Being single in the church is not an easy thing. You have to fight your way through and carve out your own niche. In other words you have to build the bridge from your little island to connect with the main land. But all the hard work and frustration is worth it in the end. We all need to be a part of a community. God created us to fellowship together, to need each other.