Tonight I was told in no uncertain terms that the fact that I want to wait to have sex until I am married is unrealistic. That because of the choices I have made that I will be single for the rest of my life. That in order to get a husband I have to be willing to "fulfill a man's needs." And apparently this makes me selfish and I don't care about how it makes the other person feel.
Can we say I am a bit ticked off!!! Now, I admit that in this whole matter I am not totally innocent. I have made some choices over the last few months that haven't been the wisest nor am I proud of them. I have seen and admitted where I wronged him and yet all I get is that I don't care about how he feels! Apparently I am totally to blame for the reason we had this huge fight and things he has done to hurt me don't factor in.
It's not like premarital sex is a grey area. It's not like one of those biblical things that you question. I don't know how many times it is mentioned through out the bible but it is very, very clear. I think what ticks me off the most is that he is a believer and yet said these things to me. I would understand if he was a non-believer of course this is the way the world sees things. But as a Christian we are to live in the world and not be of the world. As I said before I am not perfect. I am so far from being perfect that it scares me sometimes. I know my own heart and I know what I would do if I weren't under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. I know what I have done when I have chosen to go my own way. I am only who I am today by God's grace and his mercy, and the Lord knows I don't deserve it at all.
Telling me that men of strong character and convictions don't exist makes me mad. It makes me mad because I know it is a lie. I have these exact type of men all around me. I find these qualities in my father and my brothers, and brother-in-law. These men are in church with me every Sunday. These men are married to my close friends. These men are some my good friends. True I may not have met the one that God has intended for me but you know what I have no doubt that he is out there.
So I just want to thank all of you men out there who choose to live a life of integrity. Who choose to stand up for what you believe in the face of adversity. Who value the gift of sex and were willing to wait or are still waiting until you are married. Who value women enough to love them for who they are and not what they can do for you.
Thank you for being my family, my friends, and my mentors. Thank you for showing me that I am a precious treasure worth waiting for. Thank you for seeing value for who I am and not what I can do. Thank you for showing me that I don't have to settle for second best. Thank you for keeping hope alive for this "unrealistic" single girl.
4 comments:
you know my thoughts on this...so i will simply say, AMEN!
I love you. Dad
it is certainly not unrealistic! I know lots and lots of girls who waited and who are still waiting. I watied. My husband waited. It was the best gift we could give one another. It's totally worth it.
You know Kelly, anyone who would say those things to you has more self love than love for God or you. No man can say to a woman that she is in any way responsible for fulfilling any of his needs. Even in the arena of sex, a man has to understand that animals are the ones who have sex to fulfill a need. A man and woman should have sex to fulfill a heartfelt soulful love that is deep enough to be able to invest a lifetime commitment. If you aren't able to make that kind of commitment and mean it aren't mature enough for such a responsibility. It is much better to be single than to be with a selfish cad.
Love from GA,
Jennie
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